Buy Me A Pint with Galactic Credits — Stewart’s Favorite Fictional Drinking Buddies

Now, I preface this by saying there are some mild spoilers, so be warned, dear reader…

First off, I’m not one of those guys who goes out regularly, let alone with relatives or friends on a weekend to hammer down a few beers and have some fun.  Not that I have crap relatives or friends to hang out with for options, its just not my style.  However, on the rare occasion when I do, I find myself often being the designated driver, which is like the equivalent of being third string quarterback in a football team, and by that I mean, sitting bored out of my ass taking care of drunken fools.  So with that thought in mind, I decided to form my own league of fictional characters I would enjoy going to a bar with and not worry about being the only sober one.

So, in no particular order:

Dean Winchester – Sure he spent what might be an eternity of pain after being cursed to hell (he got over that, so no worries) and has to be the big brother in the Winchester family of Supernatural, but even he enjoys the good things in life.  Things like women, beer, greasy food, classic rock, and like most men who’ve spent their lives dealing with everything from vampires to Lucifer himself, takes it all with a grin on his face and a bit of snark to boot.  Imagine talking to him about things you’ve always wanted to know about, like: “how long does it take to explode a fairy in a microwave?” and “what’s his stance on slashfan fiction?”

Kara “Starbuck” Thrace —  Just to show I have no issue with this fictional group being all-inclusive, I bring you a woman who can party and down beer with the best of them.  Sure this Viper pilot from the remake of Battlestar Galactica has serious mommy issues, unstable mood swings, problems with authority, and at one point, being an angel ghost thingie, but with a few drinks, she’s a bonafide hellraiser.  However, this selection comes with one caveat: it would have to be Starbuck pre-season 3 and onward, because after a while, the drinking wasn’t doing much to improve her outlook.  Plus she died, and that always saps people’s ability to kick back and relax.

 Garrus Vakarian  —  Every group needs a designated driver, and with this alien sniper/badass from the Mass Effect games, you get one that’s fun without being drunk out of his mind.  He’s faced down giant Reapers at his worst, so being the wingman in this group should be like summer vacation.  Besides the wonderful tales of making soldiers of every alien species’ head explode like a watermelon at a Gallagher show, he’s reliable and trustworthy.  There’s not many fictional bromances I have, but Garrus, you are one of them.

 Wolverine aka Logan – Why him?  Why not him is the question.  This X-Man hangs out in bars so much he has probably a stool engraved with his name on it in every pub in existence.  Plus, when it comes to a likely barroom brawl, his adamantium bones/claws and healing factor guarantee my drinking party ending up being the last ones standing.

 William “Bunk” Moreland  — This detective from HBO’s The Wire is just a barrel load of fun, and considering this is on the job, off hours probably more so.   Who wouldn’t want to get drunk calls from this lovable cop in the middle of the night after he has burned his clothes to hide an affair with another woman?  Hell, he can even bring his friends Jimmy McNulty and Lester Freamon along.  They get a free round on me.

 Tyrion Lannister —  Sure he’s got bigger troubles than his height, like an incestuous sister and brother, and a demon hellspawn king for a nephew, but he’s not easily scared.  This master manipulator dwarf from the Game of Thrones books and TV series is one guy who you shouldn’t underestimate.  Also in his favor: he can pimpslap future king and eternal a-hole Joffrey and not give a flying eff.  What a magnificent bastard.

 Tommy Monaghan  —  From DC’s late, lamented, and totally great Hitman comic, this assassin is a hometown hero of Gotham City.  It helps he comes with the superpowers of reading minds, x-ray vision, and the ability to kill dozens of bad guys while cracking wise.  The downside is he’s quite dead, which in the current era of comics, is a rarity.  But considering two of my picks have come back from the afterlife, I’m sure they know some people who could hook him up.  Just saying…

 But, who are the characters you would love to spend the night drinking a few brewskis with?  Got any issues with this list?  Are you the designated driver in your crew?  Comment below…

Tags: BattleStar Gallactica, Books, Bromance, Comics, Drinking Buddies, Fantasy, Game of Thrones, Games, Movies, Nerdtastic Ramblings, Stewart, Supernatural, X-Men