Clark Kent is a busy man these days, and that’s before he reveals to Lois his secret and discovering she already knew! There’s that great evil coming, an anti-vigilante bill, dealing with the in-laws, and maybe, just maybe, a marriage proposal? And don’t forget the in hiding Chloe, Tess hiding a going crazy Lex clone, and Tess discovering she’s Lionel’s orphaned daughter! Whew. Lot of stuff for Clark to do in this round of minicaps…
That pesky Vigilante Registration Act isn’t making the lives of our heroes any easier, especially when one of them (AC/Aquaman) is destroying oil rigs. When AC and eventually Oliver are captured by Colonel Tigh from Battlestar Galac–, ahem, captured by Slade Wilson, it’s up to Clark and AC’s wife Mera (yep, he got hitched, y’all) to get them out. Well, them and Lois, who turns out to be very helpful on that. Also, Slade gets a metal eye patch after his run in with Clark, because he’s evil!
–Man, this episode feels a beat or two short. For instance, Clark escaping that kryptonite cell thing Slade put up. Just an act break and a brief explanation seems to not cut it in this case. And the weird montage of AC swimming around (and switching costumes mid-search) and Oliver’s extreme workout video? Odd.
–Oh, speaking of that scene, that was a weird time for Clark to use his x-ray vision on Slade. Of course, it does reveal that odd omega symbol branding on his skull.
–Man, maybe I feel spoiled by the better Slade in Arrow, but Michael Hogan as Slade is still a bit to be desired. On the other hand, they got him into an eyepatch pretty fast, so welcome to another BSG nod. I could go for a marathon of BSG right now.
–Oh hey, Lois knows Clark has Tess on the team, which is awkward to say the least. You know, they had a pretty epic cat fight a season or so ago.
–“Seriously, don’t make me take my hair dryer out and shrivel you.”
Clark gets accidentally sent to an evil parallel universe, where he’s the son of Lionel Luthor, which begs the question: where’s the “Clark Luthor” of that reality? Oh, he’s just in our Clark’s reality, causing trouble as our Clark tries to find his way back home. Unfortunately, Clark takes an unknown passenger back with him: that evil reality’s Lionel! And Clark knows about Tess being a Luthor! And about the Lex clone! And that the Lex clone escaped! Lots of “and”s this episode!
–So fun facts from the Ultraman parallel reality: Clark Luthor killed Lex, Lionel has been destroying kryptonian artifacts and subduing the Fortress, and Tess is okay with boning her surrogate brother. Yep, this is an evil universe, alright.
–As much as I miss not seeing what happened in between that last time we saw Clark Luthor in our reality to when our Clark came back, coming back to that insanely destroyed Watchtower was a fun moment.
–Lois laments the multiple times she’s been in the hospital in the show’s run. And really, her insurance premiums must be next level insane high at this point.
–Really, when you know Tess is in charge of Watchtower, maybe it’s best not to ignore her calls, Lois.
–“Wouldn’t wanna miss how all this turns out.” Duh-duh-duhhhhhhhhh!
Well, things start out with Clark proposing to Lois and her accepting, so this is going to be a happy episode, right? Well paranoia over vigilantes is at a all-time high and Lois and most of the gang have been detained by Slade, so no. Oh, and then Hawkman dies saving Lois while his wings are on fire, so that’s such a no. And then at Carter’s funeral, all the heroes get knocked out by some mystery device, so this is definitely not a festive episode.
–Slade manages to survive getting BBQ’d, but Clark still sends his fracking ass into the Negative Zone. After that “death’s stroke” line (see, get it?), I say, enjoy imprisonment in limbo, Slade!
–Say “hi” to Aquaman and Cyborg at the funeral, or should I say Aquaman and Cyborg via hooded figures because of lack of actor availability.
–Finally, “Cat” does something useful for a change by helping Lois avoid recapture, which beats my other dream usefulness of “Cat”: being a bullet-riddled shield.
–Chloe sends Lois a congrats note on the engagement via Smallville‘s FedEx. Speaking of which, we see Chloe via flashback. Will she be back at all this season? (Whistling and pointing below to the next episode) Also, Oliver gets asked to be best man at the wedding. What, Pete Ross isn’t available?
It’s been a bit since the gang got knocked out at Carter’s funeral, and everyone has been basically neutered by the VRA. Except…well, Clark and the gang are having flashes of something else going on, and that’s they’re living in some virtual reality prison. To escape it without dying, they may have to rely on the one person they haven’t heard from in a while…Chloe! Of course, Clark’s doubt in Chloe delays his escape from slumberland, but his faith in Lois helps solve that problem fast. Also, Chloe will be hanging around more now, so good news for mopey Oliver.
–So Chloe turned herself over to Flagg’s Suicide Squad and then entrapped them to work with her? Um, that’s a beat I think we all would have liked to see.
–A computer generated dreamworld where bad guys are black clothes wearing baddies and heroes can fly and carry dual guns? I can’t wait until someone makes that into a movie!
–So, lady VRA Gestapo bad guy are just going to be left in that cyber prison indefinitely? I mean, considering being extracted forcibly could kill them (as was the big conceit for no one escaping on their own without Chloe’s help), I’m not sure how cool that is.
–So the Canary is suspicious of Chloe because of that Doomsday fiasco, but kudos to Chloe for pointing out how eager she was to help Lex on their first encounter. Those who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones, or use superpowered shrieks, in this case.
–“You never gave up.” “And I never will.”
NEXT TIME: Clark has to save Martha from the VRA fervor in “Beacon”, Clark and Oliver face a steep price in rescuing Chloe from Desaad in “Masquerade”, Lois and Clark’s bachelor/bachelorette parties end with a big case of forgetfulness in “Fortune”, and Clark tries to steer clone Alexander away from evil in “Scion”.