SMALLVILLE Minicaps / Season 7, Eps. 5-8

The Smallville season 7 minicaps was found in Reeves Dam next to Kara's spaceship.

The Smallville season 7 minicaps is still trying to wrap its head around Lana being cloned and the clone being blown to pieces. Really, that plot twist just came out of NOWHERE.

Stewart here…

Everyone’s busy, busy, busy these days. Clark’s helping his cousin Kara adjust to life on Earth, Chloe’s feeling let out because the new Daily Planet editor Grant Gabriel has taken a shine to Lois, and Lex is busy working on some big anti-alien defense, which I’m sure, there’s some creepy ulterior motive in that. Then there’s Lana, who’s adjusting to life back in Smallville after that whole “faking her death with a cloned body Lex made, then blaming Lex for it” thing (never gets easier to write that) by setting up a group to help meteor freaks. She also is creepily monitoring Lex’s mansion and responsible for another thing we’re going to get to right about…now…

“Action”

Smallville is being used to film a movie based on the Warrior Angel comic, and among one of the many locations being used in the Kent farm. Clark ends up saving a starlet’s life and hangs around to find out who’s trying to have said starlet killed. Things get personal when the psycho sees Clark in hero mode and threatens Lana’s life. By the way, Lionel’s very much alive and being held prisoner up in a cabin in the woods. Suffice to say, he doesn’t stay cabin bound for long.

“A cape? I’ve seen The Incredibles, OK? NO CAPES!”

–Lois puts together something regarding the property where the cabin is, much to the suspicious aggravation of Grant Gabriel. Which brings us to the other thing we skimmed over is Lionel was being captive by someone hired by Lana. Why exactly? Well, payback against the Luthors, as Lionel points out to her when he tells her that she was behind his imprisonment. But he also mentions doing this behind Clark’s back has a price.

–Boy, we got really grisly with Lionel pulling that bear trap off his hand. And then there is Lana’s little helper getting her skull caved in by Lionel later on.

–Ben, delusional as he is and locked up in Belle Reve, actually protects Clark’s secret when Lex offers those rare Warrior Angel comics for what he knows.

–Rachel leaves Clark a cape for a goodbye present. A red cape.

–“In the comic-book world, when you’re destined to save mankind, you’re destined to be alone.”

“Lara”

Kara pops up in Washington, D.C. searching for the crystal, just in time to be captured by shady government agents and put under a kryptonite truth serum. Clark comes to the rescue, but not before sharing in some trippy flashbacks regarding Krypton, like his mom Lara and his uncle Zor-El. Like for example, Zor-El was probably a bigger dick than his brother, and harbored a serious crush of Lara. In the meantime, Chloe finds out Lana is running a foundation to help meteor freaks, but even she’s smart enough to sense her friend is involved in some shady stuff.

“You think this is horrible, Kara, but I’ve done worse working for SAMCRO. Like ‘drown a man in a bathtub of pee’ bad.”

–Another callback to Super-history with Helen Slater, Kara from the Supergirl movie, as Lara.

–Here’s a few callbacks from the previous seasons: Somerholt’s memory treatment from season three, the visits to Earth from Jor-El expanded to show he wasn’t the only Kryptonian to visit Earth prior to Krypton’s destruction.

–While Lana keeps a big secret from Clark, Clark’s keeping an important one from Kara, like the fact he stole that crystal because it has Lara’s DNA in it. That sounds way creepier than I think its meant to sound.

–Wait, despite all the chaos that has happened to the Kent home, somehow that particular photo of Martha has remained okay, and that hidden photo of Lara behind it as well?

–Really, Lex, you want to pull the “I learned it from you, Dad” card when it comes to dealing with women. Lionel didn’t fake impregnate someone and then clone them, you know.

“Wrath”

Another freak lightning accident causes another power reversal, but this time with Lana gaining some of Clark’s abilities. But this isn’t season one Lana who’s dealing with this, but season seven “I got a lust for vengeance against the Luthors” Lana, so of course, she uses her new abilities to up the ante in her campaign against her former in-laws (as well as go all agro the longer she has powers). Also, there’s an advantage of sorts with Clark and Lana both having super-powers: yeah I meant sex. Plus, I smell couples therapy for Clark and Lana in the near future.

“Trust me, being electrocuted twice isn’t all that bad, Lana!”

–In another installment of “Lex blames _____ for Screwing Up Lana”, Clark gets it this episode. Once again, Lex, lying about being an alien is way less psychologically damaging than faking someone’s pregnancy so you can marry them and then make a clone of said person for…some reason…

–Bad news on the horizon as the last remains of Brainiac’s ship is, well, alive and wanting escape from its containment. Which it does accidentally, thanks to Clark trying to save Lana by depowering her (and Lana, in one of the weirder continuity gaffes I’ve seen in a while, loses a jacket during her planning to electrocute Lex).

–Grant Gabriel really doesn’t want to run anything on the Luthors. I mean, reeeeaaaally doesn’t.

–We get a brief update on Martha Kent, senator. She’s doing just fine, thank you.

–Chloe’s journalistic skills at work when figuring out those tremors and how they’re connected to Clark and Lana: “What do mini-earthquakes have to do with you two guys? Oh.”

“Blue”

A rather messy family reunion ends this round of minicaps as Zor-El’s crystal is plugged into the Fortress by Clark and brings forth a replicant of Lara and more importantly, Zor-El. Obviously no one wants the “humans are cattle who need to be slaughtered” uncle around for this reunion, so Clark, Kara, and Lara want to stop Zor-El before its too late. Except “Lara” is part of the plan, and takes Clark out of the equation, but not long enough for him and Kara stop Zor-El’s plan to destroy mankind. And somehow thanks to this, Kara gets amnesia and dumped in Detroit. And you thought the Phantom Zone was a bad fate.

Oh, uncle Zor-El used to sneak up behind kids back on Krypton. Less creepier than when uncle Perv-El did it, of course.

–Lois and Grant are getting attached, which leads to some helpful advice to end that affair from Chloe…and Lex! Which brings me to the next big bombshell…Grant Gabriel is Julian Luthor! You know, Lex’s brother who died as a kid? I’m going to play wait and see on this explanation because this puts a few episodes of story and motivation over the last six seasons into question.

–Its been a while since Lana’s taken a trip to the hospital. Some things never change, I guess.

–Wonderful note: After being replicated back to life, Lara, for a second, mistakes Clark for Jor-El.

–Jor-El suggests to Clark there will be consequences for not listening to him…again. Really, Jor-El, you’re even more dickish brother just tried to kill mankind, and you want to talk about “consequences”? Jeez.

–Lois also hates keyboards that aren’t in alphabetical order.

NEXT TIME: Clark seems changed by his extended time at the fortress in “Gemini”, Bizarro Clark needs to be stopped in “Persona”, Lex hires a mystery woman known as Black Canary in “Siren”, and Clark gets trapped in an ailing Lex’s mind in “Fracture”.