DC TV Recap Round-Up, Week 8: Crisis on Earth X (Part One)!

28 Nov

Welcome back, and boy did you drop in at the right time! This week, we got two nights and four shows worth of recaps to give you! As a result, we’re merging the regular Arrow weekly recap into this one (so don’t expect that to come back until next week’s winter finale), and since we are going to have a lot of ground to cover, this part will only cover the first night, with episodes of Supergirl and Arrow. So without further ado, let’s jump into all the fun!

“Crisis on Earth-X, Part 1”

We start things in Earth-X, which is clearly the evilest of evil dimensions based on the Nazi-esque design of the city we see (and of course, the BLOOD RED sky around them!). Some people are preparing a device to transport that might change the tide of things, but before that, an archer in leather, red markings, and a face mask kills everyone, all but a guy who looks like the Guardian, albeit with an American flag shield. Too bad the Guardian, a grizzled James Olsen, gets stabbed and then killed by another arrow in the chest! This masked archer with a very digitized but familiar voice says the device he has retrieved will strength the Reich for eternity. That’s not good.

Meanwhile, we check up on all our DC TV bands of heroes, all taking care of business but also dealing with a coming event: RSVPing for the wedding of Barry Allen and Iris West. Among the people arriving for the big nuptials in Central City: the Danvers sisters from their dimension; Ollie and Felicity from Team Arrow; and Sara, Mick, Stein, and Jax from the Legends. While the ladies discuss things while getting their nails done, Ollie and Barry are getting tuxes, and both groups jokingly ask the same question: when are Ollie and Felicity going to get hitched? While that question will come back later, Jax and Stein get some news from brainiacs Harry and Cisco: they managed to create a serum to shut off Firestorm permanently! So why is this not good news?

Well, we get to the pre-wedding dinner at Jitters of all places, and we get everyone having a good time. Well, not everyone, since Kara is still stinging from all the Mon-El stuff that happened, Alex from her break-up, and Jax not responding well to Stein’s attempt to help Jax keep some kind of superpower if they destroy Firestorm. After we get a nice speech from Joe about the lucky couple, another couple in Ollie and Felicity hit a weird turn when Ollie suggests they get married, and she accidentally says she’s not interested IN FRONT OF EVERYONE. Well, at least Alex misses that, because she has a one night stand with Sara! You may want to put together your own shipping name there (Alara? Salex?).

Superhero marriages: where absolutely nothing goes wrong. Not even being crashed by Nazis from another dimension.

The next morning, everyone and their loved ones are arriving at the chapel (some more hungover than others, like an awkward Alex), and everything seems to start off so well. And then the freaking Nazis show up, with that evil archer from earlier, a flying lady who looks very familiar even with the mask covering her face and someone who looks like Prometheus among the many Nazi soldiers. Like most superhero weddings, all our heroes seemed to be carrying a weapon on them before they went in for the wedding, because they are ready to fight. I won’t describe everything that happens in this sequence, only to say ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE. By the time it’s over, that creepy flying super lady has to be carried out by the evil archer and the Nazis flee.

On the other hand, our heroes have a captured faux-Prometheus in a STAR Labs containment cell, and questions as to who our violent wedding crashers are. While we wonder that, that evil archer and superlady meet with a suspicious face: what looks like the Reverse-Flash with Harry Wells face, who is not happy they tried and failed to defeat our good guys. And that’s when we see the other villains look like Ollie and Kara, only they seem way more evil! Good thing we don’t have to wait long to see what happens with them!

Badass lady high-five!

–Hmmm, I wonder who that nervous waitress at the wedding who talked to Barry for a significant amount of time is?

–Also an odd note that kind of passes by until further viewing: the girls think Iris is glowing, which…means many things, but let’s not say more than that until we know for sure.

–Nice of them to go all in with the crossover concept by just having one cohesive title sequence, and use the style of the titles to mark where scenes are happening.

–Let’s just talk about random things in that big church fight, shall we? Wally flipping those bullets back at the soldiers. Sara and Alex doing the dress rip so they can move about to fight. Ollie riding that Cisco vibe into Evil Ollie’s perch. That super clap to end things.

–You know, I am not getting the best feeling from Stein talking plans for his retirement and hanging out with his grandson.

–Of course we get Kara singing for the wedding. Of course, this reminds all about last season’s musical episode with Mon-El (by the way, hi and goodbye to him for the rest of this thing!)

–Obviously they couldn’t get EVERYONE in this universe to join in the festivities (most of Team Arrow, the Flash crew, and half the Legends don’t even show up here), but I would expect they will start popping up in the rest of this crossover.

–We should note William Katt, no stranger to tights if you’ve seen The Greatest American Hero, is the minister who meets with that nasty disintegration.

–“How’s your butt?” That’s a question you just should be cautious in which company to ask.

–“You want to turn me into Spider-Man?” Man, we are just not concerned about flack from that company there, are we?

–“I’ll splice the proton from your neutrino!”

–“Man, I wish could sleep-fly.”

–“Your daughter didn’t want me walking around naked, so I found one of her dresses. By the way, you’re out of milk.”

–“You didn’t?” “I did, like twice I did, maybe three times.”

–“Considering I tried to murder the groom a few times, It’s probably best I sit on the bride’s side.”

–“Best wedding ever!” Yeah, it’s not bad, Mick.

“Crisis on Earth-X, Part 2”

We come back as Ollie and company see who this Prometheus lookalike is: it’s Tommy Merlyn! Well, it’s not really Tommy, because he died five years ago, right? It’s not until the group talks that Harry reveals that there’s actually a 53rd universe besides the 52 that they know exist: a universe known as Earth-X, where the Nazis won WWII and have controlled that world since. Ollie doesn’t get much about that from that world’s Tommy, except he’s clearly not as good as the friend he saw die. That faux-Tommy decides to check out with a cyanide capsule, a fact not lost on Evil Ollie, who gets that message through a transponder that goes off when Evil Tommy drops dead. We see there’s some tension between the trio of villains, but they have important things to do, like find some object called “the Prism”. Oh, and Evil Ollie and Evil Kara are a couple, which, ewwwww.

While the group of science buddies (minus Cisco, who’s still recovering from a concussion last episode) are busy trying to find the evil dopplegangers, we get back to some conversations from earlier. Ollie and Felicity chat about why she didn’t want to get married, and we find she’s just happy with the relationship they have now. Jax realizes he might actually miss Stein as he’s become a kind of surrogate father for him, and Alex is having second thoughts about her breakup with Maggie. But back to the subject at hand, as we find our bad guys stealing this said Prism, leaving Ollie, Kara, and Barry to go take care of it. There they meet their evil dopplegangers, who reveal who they are, except for the Reverse-Flash, who actually is the Eobard Thawne we all love to hate! Oh, and Evil Ollie and Evil Kara are married, which, double ewwwwww.

Oh man, this is indeed the darkest universe.

They get down to fighting, and that’s when Ollie whips out a Kryptonite arrow and puts it into Evil Kara. That only wounds her, and the trio make their escape by giving a distraction in the form of trying to make a construction site collapse. After that, we learn this Prism could be used for a giant neutron bomb, and based on the blood from Evil Kara from that Kryptonite arrow, Evil Kara has a little bit more solar radiation in her cells than normal Kryptonians should. They can use that to trace Evil Kara, who at this point is having a nice chat with Thawne about not being distracted in their plan to take over this Earth. He thinks Evil Ollie will choose her over their mission, but she assures Thawne she won’t give Evil Ollie that option. What is wrong with her, anyway?

Our gang finds Evil Kara at a shipping depot, and after some slow-motion team walking, they make their way in and find Thawne, Evil Kara and a lot of Nazis. But where’s Evil Ollie? Well, he’s paying a trip to STAR Labs, only leaving Caitlin and Mick to fight him and keep Iris and Felicity safe. Well, not quite, because Rene, Curtis, and Dinah pop by to fight the Evil Ollie, and unfortunately, do not do well there. As bad as that gets, things get worse for everyone else at that shipping depot when our evil dopplegangers pop out a secret weapon: Metallo, Kryptonite heart and all!

Our heroes at the shipping depot awaken to find themselves shackled, and Evil Ollie back to help fill in the gaps of what’s wrong with Evil Kara: she’s dying from fatal exposure to the sun’s radiation, and needs a heart transplant to survive, mainly our Kara’s heart! Felicity and Iris cautiously wander STAR Labs to find these Master Men Nazis imprisoning the heroes in containment pods. And worse, the rest of our heroes awaken from the shipping depot to find themselves…in a holding pen on Earth-X! And that’s it for now!

Maybe a bit premature to break out the slow-motion walk, heroes.

–Considering Colin Donnell, who played Tommy has a regular gig on TV now, it was a surprise to see him pop up for this brief cameo as his evil doppleganger.

–Our Kara is creeped out by the Evil Ollie/Evil Kara pairing as I’m sure everyone else is.

–Let’s not talk about Mick’s “interest” in Caitlin’s other roomie, Killer Frost, shall we?

–This hasn’t been said enough this season or the last several, but STAR Labs security SUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKS.

–Some nice visual flourishes this episode, like that view from dazed Ollie of the big shipping depot fight. And of course, the reveal of that Kryptonite arrow.

–Considering it seemed all the Eobard Thawnes’ were destroyed on Legends last season, I guess it makes sense their subsequent breaking of time might bring our Thawne back. Curse you, heroes!

–“It’s in the Stone Age. No really, it’s in the Stone Age.” So we know where the other Legends are right now.

–“You guys have breaches, but no mustard?”

–“Well, I once caught a deranged serial killer based off his face cream. No joke.”

–“Then you are a real special kind of idiot.”

–“Didn’t I kidnap you once?” “I wouldn’t try that again.”

–“And you, be 10% less brooding.”

–“Well, punching Nazis, that was definitely as satisfying as I thought it would be.”

–“Just a quick reminder: superspeed. I don’t have it!”

NEXT TIME: Crisis on Earth-X concludes!

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