SMALLVILLE Minicaps / Season 4, Eps. 9-12

Smallville season four minicaps is once again being blamed by Lana Lang for…something. Psh. Whatever.

Stewart here, and fair warning, expect spoilers within…

Well, it can be said this for season four so far: it hasn’t gotten as dark as last season. Not to suggest everything’s been all flowers and puppies in Smallville. Clark’s been dealing with that whole krytponian artifact quest, Lana’s dead ancestor, being a senior in high school, and yes, the occasional visit by Lois. Then there’s the weird turn that has saved Lionel and Jason getting booted from working at Smallville High, and as to the latter, guess who Lana blames for that, even though, like many things Lana does, is wrong about? So let’s see what gets thrown at Clark Kent in this round of minicaps…

“Bound”

That’s the thing about one night stands: everything goes so well until the next day when you find the person you went home with tied up and dead. Well, that’s actually more what happens to Lex in this episode, and Clark tries to help him find out what really happened. To that end, he consults the one person who may know Lex better than anyone: Lionel. In Lana-related developments, she has a dream of a woman at that witch burning her ancestor was a part of and then meets Jason’s mother, Genevive, and both women look exactly like Jane Seymour. Odd, huh?

“(muffled) Help! Robin Sparkles is trying to kill me!”

–If Shannon, our jilted and obsessed villain of the week, looks vaguely familiar, yes, she’s played by future SHIELD agent and How I Met Your Mother regular Cobie Smulders.

–Hey, Lionel helped Clark prove Lex was innocent, so maybe he’s turned over a new leaf — (slaps himself) – what am I saying?

–Jason seems to get the impression Lana was sent his way by Genevive, and no way could that be true, even with that sinister music and all that rain and lightning going on in that last scene. Ummm…

–A fun throwaway moment: Clark speeding out of Chloe’s office, and her look of “oh, that happened again”. She’s taking Clark’s quick disappearances like they’re normal now.

–“Its for the call of truth and justice. Now push me up against the wall.”

“Scare”

Leave it to LuthorCorp to have an accidental release of bacteria that causes sufferers to experience their worst fears. The bad news is if its not treated soon, the people suffering from it will die. So we get some wonderfully trippy moments where most of our cast gets to be terrified by some deep dark secrets. Also, Lionel gets released from prison? Are we sure no one pumped that fear bacteria into this episode?

–So let’s go through the fears of this episode: Jason is afraid of losing Lana to Clark, Chloe is afraid she’ll end up in an asylum like her mom (and that’s a pretty big reveal for her character, and that it might be hereditary), Lana is afraid everyone she knows will die (not being proven wrong on that point, though), Clark is afraid his secret will be revealed to a disgusted Lana, and Lex dreams of nuking the world as president.

OW. OW. OOOWWWWW.

–They must have lost a lot of the episode’s budget to that hallucinated hospital destruction scene.

–Are we still wondering who could have had Lionel sprung form prison? And seriously, who would want him out of prison? That man’s a dead man walking to anyone who he screwed over.

–It’s great to see Clark’s whole “the gate was open” excuse isn’t holding much water with Lex these days.

–Jason decides to leave Lana, and that’s probably a good idea, considering the questions that came up last episode.

“Unsafe”

Hey, Clark, thought you’d like to know that Alicia from last season’s “Obsession” has been let out of the psycho ward. Oh, and she has a red kryptonite ring and, wait, you’re going to Vegas to get married? Um, that’s not good. Oh, and Lana thinks sex will keep Jason around. Wait, you haven’t pieced this together already, Lana? Not the whole “sex keeps people around” thing, but the “your mom has been appearing in my visions and that’s kind of weird” thing.

Tough call there, Clark. Sleep with a crazy superpowered woman or…um…well, can’t really make an argument against that. Sorry.

–Seriously, how many of those red kryptonite rings does Chloe have in her office? Clark stole one, Pete stole one, and now Alicia stole one. Does she know her stash of red rings is being picked off one at a time?

–Chloe did lose her virginity with someone at the Daily Planet during her summer there in season two. Some bow-tie guy named Jimmy.

–For future reference, “under the influence of red kryptonite” doesn’t work as grounds for annulment.

–So Lex didn’t spring Lionel from prison, but at least he’ll let his dad stay in the guesthouse.

–Jonathan and Martha are disappointed their son got exposed to red kryptonite and married an obsessive girl with powers of teleportation. It happens to the best of us.

“Pariah”

Well, the somewhat reformed Alicia may not be quite as reformed as Clark believes, especially after Lana is attacked and Alicia becomes the prime suspect. Well, it turns out she didn’t really do it, but that doesn’t stop Alicia from making a very unhinged move by planning to out both hers and Clark’s secrets to everyone. Alicia gets killed by the real villain of this episode, but not before she reveals what Clark really is to Chloe. Chloe decides to stay quiet about this to Clark, but come on, she knows! SHE KNOWS!

“Hello? Someone ditched their car while it was in drive. Hello?”

–So, Jason thinks Genevive got him and Lana together, which she denies. On the other hand, Genevive does go to Lex for help to split the couple apart. And Lex? Well, he just wants to pay Jason to keep eyes on Genevive.

–Poor Alicia. She was actually innocent of the attacks on Lana and Jason, went a bit bonkers because of all of that suspicion, and now she’s dead because of some other meteor freak’s obsession. On the plus side, no need for a divorce, Clark. Hey, I’m trying to be positive here.

–So Tim tries to kill people he thinks are “ruining Smallville”? Well, he is trying to kill Lana and Jason, so I can see his point, as stupid as it is.

–Lois and Chloe do Joan Jett karaoke. I don’t need to say any more than that.

Oh yeah, this epic thing happened too.

–Hey, Lois offers up some good advice to Chloe too. Chloe doesn’t tell Lois that it involves Clark, but hey, its still good advice.

NEXT TIME: Clark finds his recruitment to Metropolis U’s football team may have some problems in “Recruit”, a dog gets superpowers in “Krypto”, everyone heads to China in “Sacred”, and Lois’s sister brings trouble in “Lucy”.