SMALLVILLE Minicaps / Season 9, Eps. 12-15

The Smallville season 9 minicaps presents its Lois Lane mega dress up episode.

Stewart here…

We get opened to a lot of big reveals from last time. There were other super heroes known as the Justice Society of America, who are now reforming thanks to Clark’s help. John Jones has managed to get his Martian powers back, Lois is finally clear of those creepy memories of the future, and Tess is revealed to be an agent of the shadowy government group Checkmate, who wants to do more than just keep tabs on our heroes. And also, Clark tries to prevent the dark future Lois saw by making nice with Zod and the Kandorians. Let’s see how badly this goes…

“Warrior”

A Warrior Angel comic hexed with magic turns ordinary kid Alec into his superhero idol in the middle of a Metropolis comic-con. He ends up making quick friends with Chloe, who’s not aware of the danger Alec represents in his new persona. You see, there is a bit of a downside to this cursed comic, which brings Zatanna into town seeking Clark’s help to find it. This managed to be a nice diversion from the Zod stuff this season, if not a better Zatanna episode than her appearance last season.

–A nice trip back through memory lane with Lois’s many costume disguises over the last few seasons as Clark sifts through Lois’s closet. Hey, she asked him to! Then there’s her costume change at the con from a Star Wars stormtrooper to…well, look and decide for yourself:

A Wonder Woman that smiles? Well, Zack Snyder will fix that but good.

Another great gag involving this? She changes in the men’s bathroom because the woman’s bathroom line was longer.

–So we have more visual proof of the X-Box Kinect making people look like they’re having spasms.

–Ummm, do I spell something going on between Chloe and Oliver in that final scene? Wolf whistle!

–Zatanna’s little pass at Clark seems to not quite work because he’s under the spell of someone else. Awwwww.

–“I guess you can’t expect magic to be an exact science.”

“Persuasion”

It’s been a while since we had a new kind of kryptonite introduced, and the one introduced here comes during Valentine’s Day as Clark gets the ability to make people do what he wants. That unaware exposure on Clark’s part leads to Lois giving up her career to be a more committed girlfriend and Chloe to want to protect Clark by any means necessary. It also leads to Clark seeking payback on who he thinks killed the clone Jor-El, Tess. Only problem is as we discover later, its not her at all.

“Hey Clark! I just got back from the “Fans of Betty from ‘Mad Men'” convention, and I just felt like cooking to hide my insecurities!”

–So yeah, present day Alia, the Kandorian assassin (that followed Lois from the future in the season premiere) was Jor-El’s killer. And Zod kills her because probably Clark wouldn’t.

–Clark’s being all nice about giving out new identities for the Kandorians, which Zod is not all happy about.

–Tess just has a bad day in this episode. First, she gets to hear her solar tower project is co-opted from her by Zod, then gets into a great fight with Chloe, and then gets thrown around by a kryptonite revenge-driven Clark. I suppose there might be some comfort in Clark destroying the tower before it becomes operational.

–Its surprising to see the reaction people have to Clark’s temporary power of suggestion: Dr. Hamilton’s turn to being laid back and mellow, and Chloe’s need to protect Clark actually being helpful in stopping him from killing Tess. Then there’s Lois’s response to all of this, like the homemaker stuff, the planning for a big wedding, and then, well, this:

–“Dude, hasn’t anyone ever told you not to inhale?”

“Conspiracy”

Someone is abducting Kandorians, and that leads to both Clark and Zod looking for who’s responsible. Lois gets a clue as to who it is: a doctor who was experimented on by the Kandorians and is now attempting to reveal them to the world. Meanwhile, Chloe reveals to Oliver a little side project she’s been working on: kryptonite powered weapons to deal with Zod’s brethren if they get out of line. Oh, and to save Zod from a fatal injury, Clark gives him some of his blood to heal him and it gives him super powers. Ooooohh…

There’s probably some YouTube clip that has this scene with music from Creed over it. Prove me wrong, Internet.

–Um, not to knock you off your moral high road there, Chloe, but was Clark the one who befriended a kryptonian super weapon that killed a lot of people and ultimately killed your husband? Oh wait, THAT WAS YOU!

–But, if we want to be fair, Clark giving Zod some of his blood to save him was probably a really bad move. And even more so because barely a day after getting super powers, Zod can fly! Can Clark fly after nine seasons? No!

–I love the gray areas brought up in this episode. It’s hard not to feel bad for Chisolm in this case. He died, got brought back to life by aliens, and has been driven insane thanks to their experiments. It’s easy to see Chloe has a point stockpiling superweapons, even though she’s keeping that hidden from everyone.

–Oh, it looks like Tess isn’t happy with the solar tower being blown up. Considering how it would’ve really screwed the pooch for humanity, I would think she’d show a bit of gratitude.

–I wonder who’s blood sample Lois had that Waller picked up?

“Escape”

Clark and Lois go away on a weekend trip to a bed and breakfast…which happens to be the same one Chloe and Oliver are staying at! Despite the awkwardness of this situation, there’s a bigger problem, like an evil spirit that possesses our couplings and plans to kill them. So this is pretty much a filler episode of Smallville, albeit with that thing where Tess figures out Zod has superpowers, reminds him who he’s messing with through some kryptonite, and then sleeps with him. Oh, and Zod’s now pretending to be the Blur to get Lois to do some work for him, so once again, Clark’s good deeds are biting him in the ass.

–The Silver Banshee at the climax does look like a mutated version of something from Andrew Lloyd Weber’s CATS, doesn’t it?

“Mem-moryyy / All alone in the moon-lightttt…”

–Interesting to hear Clark’s training with Jor-El is starting to have some results, like…being able to “sleep” with…regular people. Still, not able to fly, but he can have sex without horrifically killing any human being.

–Zod’s giant back tattoo. What the hell’s with that?

–Man, this round of minicaps has been like a cavalcade of Lois dress-up, hasn’t it? Like the sexy Scot outfit here.

–Ollie’s attempt to break a quiet moment between him and Clark during breakfast: “There’s…little jellies.”

NEXT TIME: Watchtower faces a threat from Amanda Waller in “Checkmate”, Metallo is reactivated to stop a red kryptonite affected Clark in “Upgrade”, Clark’s identity is threatened by a mysterious tycoon in “Charade”, and Chloe and Tess face a fatal lockdown of Watchtower in “Sacrifice”.