SMALLVILLE Minicaps / Season 5, Eps. 9-12

Smallville season 5 minicaps hopes that someone who’s supposed to die is the Smallville season 6 minicaps. Its nothing personal.

Stewart here…

So the big plotline of late was that mysterious Dr. Fine turning out to be a bad guy and then vanishing along with the spaceship from where he came from.  In more grounded, but maybe slightly more implausible news, Jonathan and Lex are both running for state senator.  And there’s still that prophecy of someone close to Clark dying.  We’ll see that prophecy come to pass here, but before that…

 “Lexmas”

 Its Christmas time in Smallville, and there’s celebration through town,

Except for Lex, who just got shot, and is lying face down.

But lo and behold, Lex awakes in a place he doesn’t recall,

With a son and Lana, pregnant and all.

While Lex is off is this wonderful middle-class dream,

Chloe and Clark are off being a Christmas cheer team.

Clark delivers presents to needy kids throughout the city,

And saves a drunk suicidal Santa out of pity.

Meanwhile, Lex has a snag in his perfect day,

When Lana gives birth and passes away.

But he awakes from his dream, more determined than ever,

To beat Jonathan Kent and become state senator.

Clark Kent: Substitute Santa.

–So just to be clear, I don’t plan on doing the above again.

–So, either drunk Santa has superpowers that makes him able to swoop up all of Chloe’s gifts that fast, or…nah.

–Love the dream lighting on this episode, like the almost blown out porch on Lex’s home to the dark dungeon-like Luthor mansion.

–“First of many” Christmases together with Clark, Lana?  Oh, if you had a crystal ball to see into next season…

–“How dare you play God with my life.” That’s the pot calling the kettle black, Lex.

“Fanatic”

A college student working for Lex’s senate campaign really wants Lex to win.  In fact, she’s so obsessed with it that she ends up threatening Jonathan’s life.  Basically we’re getting a variation of season one’s “Drone”, but with a non-superpowered nutjob who clearly has issues rather than bees on the brain.  Also, Clark and Lana have a lover’s spat over–what else?–secrets.  And also because Clark’s worried about that whole “I could kill Lana by having sex with her now” problem.  You know, normal relationship stuff.

–Here I was thinking we would get just some Tracy Flick-esque antagonist in Samantha, but then we get to her killing her compatriots, then pulling a Britney Spears and shaving her head (also, I don’t know if the actress actually shaved her head or that was a really good bald cap, but either way, its effective).  Yep, we’re in a new territory of nuts here.

A female Lex Luthor? Well, we’ll get something closer to that around season 8.

 –Lois as a campaign manager, Jonathan?  OK, I can see how that would work out fine.

 –Also related to the Kent campaign (boy, I’m having a hard time with this plotline): Lionel offers to put money in to defeat Lex.  I’m sorry, but somewhere this had to be covered but, isn’t Lionel still a convicted felon who had his assets frozen?  Maybe he has a patent in the memory wiping gun that makes characters forget things between episodes.

 –Chloe seems disturbed by thinking about Clark having super-sex, but let’s all be honest: she’s thought about it.  More than once.

 “Lockdown”

If the upcoming election wasn’t causing enough stress for Lex, a home invasion from two cops puts him into hiding in his personal panic room.  But the cops who want in are interested in one thing from Lex: the alien spaceship (as in the alien spaceship that vanished a few episodes back) so they can expose that secret to the public.  But when Lana gets thrown into the mix of this standoff, its Clark and Chloe to the rescue.

“Dammit! All I got for downtime viewing in this panic room are two copies of Panic Room on DVD! Two copies, really?”

 –So this episode shows that whole massacre of cops from the season opener is what caused this mess Lex and Lana are in.  And also, Sheriff Adams gets killed because of it.  RIP, Sheriff.

–So, Lex got shot…again.  After this and what happened in “Lexmas”, I would have invested in body armor long before then.

–Like I said: Clark Kent must buy his clothes in bulk.  That’s another of the same attire this season to get charbroiled.

–On the campaign front of this episode, Jonathan learns about Martha accepting money from Lionel, and sells some of his farmland to pay him back.  If it were only that easy…

“Reckoning”

 You know that whole prophecy Jor-El said about Clark losing someone he loves?  Well, that comes to pass, as Clark decides to propose marriage to Lana…only to have that meet with her tragic death.  He tries to correct that with Jor-El’s help (and a little bit of time travel), but instead, her fate is traded unwillingly to Jonathan.  Its one of the best episodes of Smallville ever, and certainly one of the most pivotal and emotional with Jonathan’s death.  RIP Pa Kent.

“Wow, Clark, you can fly!” “Well actually, I can just jump really far and really high is all.” “Oh? Propose to me when you can fly.”

 –Love Chloe’s throwaway line about spinning the earth on its axis to alter time.  Nice callback to the 1978 movie.

–Considering the weird stuff that happens to Lana in later seasons, I seriously debate Clark’s decision to change her fate.

–You know its an emotional scene once someone puts Peter Gabriel on the soundtrack of your funeral scene.  Happened in the pilot of Alias, and it happens here.  Sniff.

–What was that photo Lionel showed Jonathan before he got his ass handed to him by the newly elected senator?  Well…

–“A heart beats only so many times in a life.  Your father used his more than anyone I know.”  RIP Jonathan Kent.

(Sniff).

 NEXT TIME:  Clark meets a superpowered vigilante in “Vengeance”, Chloe gets possessed by a ghost seeking justice in “Tomb”, Clark meets a bionic man who has escaped LuthorCorp’s clutches in “Cyborg”, and Lex has a hypnotist take control of Clark in “Hypnotic”.

Tags: Mini-caps, Smallville, Stewart, Television