SMALLVILLE Minicaps / Season 4, Eps. 13-16

Smallville season four minicaps dreads being possessed by its ancestor…namely the season one minicaps.

Stewart here, and be warned of spoilers within…

Outside of the minor forced marriage/even more abrupt widowing of Clark, things have been relatively normal in Smallville. Jason’s mom is in town, and what else? No, that sounds about right for everything…except Chloe now knows Clark’s secret, and he doesn’t know it! Let’s see how that turns out…

“Recruit”

Clark gets an invite to try out for Metropolis University’s football team, which is good for him, because an opening just bizarrely came up after one of their own gets mysteriously paralyzed. So he gets taken on a trip to the college to get a look at what he can expect if he joins up, and he also discovers one of the star players has a secret of his own that said player is willing to protect at any cost. Needless to say, Clark rethinks the whole promising football career after this. Also, Lana’s all upset that Jason is getting recruited by Lex for some spying on the Teague family, and Lex tells her in so many words to mind her own business. Boom!

–Can I just say that whole opening of Lois doing the whole “Marion Ravenwood drink them under the table scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark” with those frat boys was wonderful, because it was. And she did it all in bunny slippers, too.

“I izzz drinks you unda da tablezzz…hic…”

–Clark isn’t affected by alcohol, he proudly tells his dad. Not reassuring at all to hear that, especially since only aliens and hard core alcoholics say something like that.

–Geoff Johns is not just the name of our villain this week, but in case you’ve been living under a rock, has been one of the more instrumental writers of DC Comics this generation, resurrecting Green Lantern and Aquaman, among other accomplishments. The real Johns will be in Smallville’s orbit around season eight to write one of that season’s big episodes involving a certain “Legion”.

–Um, Chloe, you may want to be a little less obvious that you’re suspicious of Clark when you talk to him.

–A great response from Clark realizing he got guilt tripped into letting Lois stay at his farm after she got booted from college: “What just happened?”

“Krypto”

Lois hits a dog with her car, brings it to the Kent farm to get it treated, and then we find out said dog has super strength. It seems LuthorCorp was developing some kind of super-serum for dogs (to which everyone responds, “Why?”) and the test subjects, like the dog now living with the Kents, end up being used for robberies by a pair of brothers. The Kents’ new super-dog becomes a life-saver for Clark when he’s taken captive by the robbers. Its an inoffensive and fun episode, even though our super-powered pooch loses his super mojo by episode’s end. Maybe its for the best though, because that dog would probably trash the farm in a matter of days if he was still juiced up.

“Don’t worry, boy…I did this to my friend Pete and my kind of friend Whitney and they turned out okay…sort of.”

–“Everyone I’ve ever hit has been all right” is not the best thing anyone, dog or otherwise, wants to hear after they’ve been hit by a car, Lois.

–People, how many times will we need to say this? OK, here we go again: Jason, DON’T TRUST LIONEL.

–We get some lip-service regarding how Lois living on the farm is affecting Clark’s ability to help out. The man’s got to get up early to fix that support beam while she’s asleep, after all. And also, she has allergies to dogs.

–Lois’ response why Clark’s idea for the dog’s name doesn’t work: “Because it’s dumb. You can call your next dog Krypto.” This pearl of wisdom comes from the same person who wants to name the dog “Clarky”. For the record, its finally named Shelby.

“Sacred”

Dr. Swann returns to Clark the octagonal disc he got last season (and this is just as news breaks Swann has died), and Clark uses it to talk to Jor-El regarding that quest for the kryptonian stones. Jason and Lex head to China to find one of the pieces, and thanks to Lionel (really, short-term memories are a problem for the characters in Smallville), Clark and Lana follow them. Too bad with Lana going comes Isobel, back to possess Lana to take the stone for herself. “Sacred” turns out to a be a rather action-packed episode, even if the quest for the kryptonian stones takes a slight delay (Jason swipes the stone for Lana, even though—literally an act ago in this episode—Lana can and may still have Isobel pop up to possess her).

–Um, Jason, did you not note that Lana, with her frequent possession by her evil ancestor, may not be the right person to give that stone to? Must be all that shirtless torture those Chinese soldiers put him through that warped his reasoning a bit.

Lana needs to get possessed by her ancestor witch way more often.

–Another notch on Lana Lang, Overacheiver’s belt: getting electroshock torture before graduating. Trying to make Lex and Jason jealous that you got tortured at a younger age than them, huh?

–Dr. Swann’s colleague, Bridget Crosby, who has been popping up all season? Well, Clark discovers she has the third stone, which is of little help, since she vanished after Swann’s death. Hmmm…

–Somehow I don’t think the Tourism Board of China supported this episode of Smallville. “Come to China: you may or may not get tortured for an ancient artifact.”

–“Seeing you speak Latin and throw around men like toothpicks is kind of weird.”

“Lucy”

Did you know Lois has a little sister? Well, she does, and said sister, Lucy, comes to town for a few days to bunk with Lois. Lucy also comes with her own baggage, that baggage being a loan shark who wants a lot of money from her. But nothing is as it seems when the payoff goes wrong and both Lanes are kidnapped. So yeah, Clark to the rescue.

“I didn’t plan this super jump very welllllll…”

–The stone Jason found is stolen, and despite Lana not wanting to pursue this any further, he confronts Lionel rather violently. Guess what? Both Lex and Lionel don’t have it. But Lana does. Way to mess with your boyfriend’s head, Lana.

–Lucy escapes to who knows where. Well, we get a better idea of what happens to her after all of this around season ten.

–It really would be easier if people just ordered regular coffee, wouldn’t it, Lois? By the way, serving coffee is not in her future.

–Um, that comet hitting that other star in that closing shot isn’t foreshadowing anything, is it? Hint: it probably is.

–“You’ll find Clark’s sense of humor is an acquired taste, much like his sense of fashion.”

NEXT TIME: Lex has an identity crisis when he’s split in two in “Onyx”, trouble happens at the senior prom in “Spirit”, Clark gets a case of amnesia in “Blank”, and the Kents take in another infant who’s more dangerous than they think in “Ageless”.