Dusting Off The Shelf: Letter C

17 Jan

Here we go again! For the third installment, we’ll be watching Constantine. I almost chose Cellular, but since I just watched a Chris Evans film, I decided to go with this older film that I’ve had sitting on the shelf for… years. I know! I suck!

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Synopsis: John Constantine (Keanu Reeves) is apparently charged with the job of stopping demons from winning in the war between Heaven & Hell. Angela (Rachel Weisz) is a detective, whose sister has just died under mysterious (at least to her!) circumstances. Their paths cross and he helps her understand what happened to her sister while she helps him in a battle to stop the son of the devil from coming into our world. Or something like that. Honestly, I kept trying to figure out a) why Shia Lebeouf was there and b) how Constantine paid the rent on his apartment. Or playing Pokemon Go because it was more interesting.

Why I chose this film: I’ll admit it- I’m a Keanu fan from way back. I’ve probably seen 90% of his work at this point (it used to be 100% but I’ve been a slacker the last decade or so), so obviously there was eventually going to be a Keanu film in this series… I’m a little sad it was this one.

Will I watch it again: Not likely. I spent most of the movie looking around for something else to do because it just wasn’t interesting. I wanted to like it- the cast is a phenomenal grouping- but there’s just nothing there worth anyone’s time. Also, what the heck was with Tilda Swinton’s costumes? What even were those pants?

Why you should watch it too (or run far away!): Meh, don’t waste your time.There are some interesting visuals, but the film itself is slow and trying to be more than it is… If you really want to watch something about “Constantine”, try the series that was on a few years ago. Though, there is a satisfying scene of Shia Lebeouf getting thrashed around. That was fun.