SMALLVILLE Minicaps / Season 7, Eps. 9-12

The Smallville season 7 minicaps could go a while without hearing Jor-El warn it about “consequences”, thank you.

Stewart here…

Clark had to deal with family trouble last time as mean zenophobic uncle Zor-El is replicated and almost lays waste to Earth. Zor-El’s destroyed, but not before Kara is dumped in Detroit somehow with no memory and Jor-El tells Clark there will be consequences for his actions bringing Zor-El and his mom, Lara, back briefly. Meanwhile, Lois is starting a relationship with Daily Planet editor Grant Gabriel, who is also known to Lex as his supposedly dead brother Julian Luthor! The Luthors have their own trouble, thanks to Lana trying to destroy Lex behind Clark and Chloe’s back. But wait, what happened to Clark after that flash of light and warning from Jor-El?

“Gemini”

It’s been two weeks since Jor-El warned Clark about dire consequences happening to him again…and he hasn’t been seen in Smallville since. But it’s the holidays and its time for cheer and goodwill, except its interrupted when Lois is being threatened to reveal Lex’s experiments to the public by a bomber who has left a little boom-boom device on Chloe. Oh and the bomber knows Lex really well, since the bomber’s a rapidly decaying clone of Julian Luthor…just like Grant is! Duh-duh-duhhhhhhh! Speaking of people wanting something on Lex, Clark comes back and wants to know about what Lana has on him. Plus, he’s acting a bit different…bizarre, even. And there’s another Clark in ice at the Fortress? Oh nuts, Bizarro’s back!

He’s shimmering? Oh man, is he going to make some dumb sullen teen girl marry him and have his baby next?

–Chloe finally tells Jimmy about that meteor power she has. Of course, she has to do it being trapped in an elevator with him and with a bomb no less.

–Hey, remember one of those techies who was messing around with whatever was left of Brainiac back in “Wrath”? Well, she’s been sucked clean of minerals and is babbling kryptonian. Turns out Brainiac/Milton Fine is trying to reboot itself.

–So bad news for Chloe and Grant: Lex owns the Daily Planet now. And um, Lex kills “Adrian”, the Julian clone in front of Grant. Yeah, this is grim foreshadowing for Grant.

–Clark can do more than dismantle a bomb with his hair, Jimmy. Or, Bizarro Clark in this case. And didn’t Martian Manhunter toss him into the sun? Hmmm…

–“I have the worst Secret Santa ever.”

“Persona”

Bizarro Clark’s getting really cozy with Lana (not that she minds or knows) and searching for a kryptonian scientist on Earth with the help of Milton Fine, who’s murdering people to get more minerals. Before they can discuss a better diet plan for Fine, Jor-El decides “oh snap, Bizarro’s running around so I should probably unground my son for whatever reason I did it for” and Clark is out to stop Bizarro. Also, Grant lets his identity be known to Lionel and yeah, he’s killed by Lex. Of course Lex orchestrates Grant’s killing in front of Lionel, because, yeah, he’s turned into that kind of asshole now.

–Dax-Ur is played by former Jimmy Olsen of the Superman films, Marc McClure. Unfortunately for him, Brainiac finds him and gets some info from his brain (via putting his finger through his blue kryptonite affected head) on how to fix himself.

Come on, Lex, So you murdered a couple of clones of your dead brother. It could be worse for you. Cut to the last picture below…

–So, I’m sure there’s going to be a long talk between Clark and Lana on the following: “Clark, where were you for the last month?” “Lana, what did he mean he was better than me?” “Lana, what did you mean he was better than me?”

–So, um, why did Jor-El ice his son? What was the endgame in that? “I’ll keep him frozen in time until he gets his head straight”?

–“Lying to you would be like lying to a mollusk. There’s no point.”

–“The house of El. You always were survivors.”

“Siren”

Oliver Queen’s back in town, and just in time to help with trouble in the form of the mysterious Black Canary. Lex convinces Canary that Oliver is a bad guy and trouble ensues that Clark has to help stop. Meanwhile, Lana and Clark are trying to heal the mess caused by Bizarro Clark, and she decides to double down on learning more about what’s going on with Lex, like the whole “cloning his brother” business and what not. Plus, Lois learns about Ollie’s gig as the Green Arrow (which she takes as well as Lois can), and doesn’t seem all that broken up about Grant being dead.

–Lionel wants Lana’s help, and happens to drop some info about that poor iron-empty scientist from “Gemini” now being dead. Oh, that’s awkward.

Black Canary has a scream that can shatter glass, and she keeps that breath winter clean fresh.

–I almost feel bad about knowing there’s a better Green Arrow/Black Canary team-up happening right now on Arrow. Hey, did I mention I’m covering that right here on this blog? Check it out, why don’t you?

–Chloe’s not a natural blonde? Well, this is news from the city.

–Lionel got a weird letter with a “V” wax stamp on it. Curious.

–“Has anyone told you, you have a lousy taste in women?”

“Fracture”

Lois and Lex manage to find the amnesiac and powerless Kara, and after a scuffle with the guy holding Kara, Lex gets a bullet to the head. Well, that big problem of Lex Luthor is solved for everyone, except Lex is the only one who knows where to find Kara and the now kidnapped Lois. So Clark undergoes an experimental procedure to enter the now comatose Lex’s mind and find the information he needs (and also make friends with boy Lex, who’s the good side of him). Also, after Clark saves Kara and Lois, the revived Lex offers to help Kara retrieve her memories. Really, no one could let him just die?

–Seriously, Lex was shot square in the forehead. He should be D-E-A-D, dead! I don’t even think people who are in actual combat for a living have been shot as much as Lex has throughout the run of the show. And unlike seasons before, Clark’s plea to Lex to listen to his conscience goes tossed off. Like I said, should be D-E-A-D.

OH. It is worse for you. Never mind, Lex.

–Chloe saves Clark from getting trapped in Lex’s head by using her meteor voodoo to revive Lex, and of course, she ends up without a pulse for a good day. Seeing how the last time she did that trick she was “dead” about 500% less of a time, this is a worry for Clark.

–Linda, the name Kara goes by in the start of the episode, is a nod to Linda Danvers, an alias of Supergirl in the comics.

— Evil Lex would torture Clark with images of Lex/Lana lovemaking while he was stuck in that dream state.

–Hey, that “V” symbol from last episode is given some reference in those trips through Lex’s past memories, in that it stands for Veritas. Oh-kayyyy…

NEXT TIME: Pete Ross returns to Smallville with a secret of his own in “Hero”, its up to the ladies to rescue Clark in “Traveler”, Brainiac goes after Kara in “Veritas”, and Lex and Lionel head for a fateful collision in “Descent”.