SMALLVILLE Minicaps / Season 1, Eps. 9-12

Smallville minicaps! Hey, I can skip the theme music thanks to chapter stops on my DVDs? Good to know.

Stewart here, and be warned of spoilers within…

Not much happening for Clark Kent’s freshman year in Smallville High, save having to fight meteor-infected classmates for instance and wanting to get close to dream girl Lana Lang. I’m sure he’d be more stressed out learning his new buddy Lex Luthor is really interested in the car wreck that brought them together. So, let’s get to it…

Thor really needs to work on his practical joke making.

“Rogue”

A corrupt Metropolis cop witnesses Clark performing one of his extraordinary feats of heroics, and decides to extort Clark into doing all kinds of corrupt stuff for him. And if Clark refuses, setting up Jonathan for murder might do the trick. Well, not really, but how that goes down is worth seeing for yourself. And Lex has an old flame pop up to spice things up in the meantime.

–Considering the only way you can keep Clark’s secret is through severe brain injury or death, its probably for the best the latter happened here with Phelan.

–I think this is the first time Clark realizes, “Oh, I can dodge bullets too?” Too bad he doesn’t know he can have them bounce off him too.

–In subplot related goings on, Chloe gets fired from the Torch (leading to a slight bit of melodrama on her part when finding out Lana is replacing her), only to be re-hired when new editor Lana stands up for her to the principal. And Chloe claims she just wants to be “good friends” with Clark. Sure…

–The other subplot this episode (and the batch of episodes covered here) is Lex’s old flame Victoria Hardwick dropping in to lure him into a takeover of LuthorCorp. He goes one better by offering to takeover both their fathers’ companies.

–Lots of good practical effects mayhem this episode, with the whole bus being “stopped” by Clark and then the safe (along with most of the wall round it) being dropped onto Phelan’s car later on.

“You clearly didn’t hear me when I said I wanted THE CONTENTS of the safe!”

–Hmmm, that breastplate sure looks familiar somehow. I just can’t place it…

–“Keep your friends close, but keep the quarterback closer.”

“Shimmer”

Turns out someone has a crush on Lex, and that same person may want to kill Lex’s new girl toy Victoria. Also, Whitney’s dad is having some medical issues, and needs some consoling, which puts Clark in a bind in regards to Lana. Long story short: the quiet brother of the girl with the Lex crush is the invisible man (kind of saw that twist coming), Victoria is spying on Lex for some nefarious purpose as Lionel predicts is the case, and Clark suggests Whitney go to Lana for some consoling. OW. Plus, he has to bail on donating to her school blood drive because, well, the whole superpowers thing. Double OW.

–We finally get a bit more backstory on Lex’s mom thanks to Whitney’s troubles, because the heart meds for Whitney’s dad were the same Lex’s mom used before the surgery that killed her.

–Someone’s a big fan of David Fincher’s The Game if that destroyed black lit bedroom in Lex’s place suggests.

–Lex is really not that interested in a relationship with the underage Amy, which makes what happens with her and Lana later on in the series a bit more icky to think about.

Is this actually from the show or from a Smallville super-fan documentary? You make the call.

–“We missed it.” Considering all the Lana drama of the series, that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

–“No, I live on a farm.”

–“War is in our nature. No need to put it on display.”

“Hug”

A rival businessman to Lex has an ace up his sleeve in a kryptonite infused hand that makes able to seal the deal on anything, like say, buying up the Kent farm for his new chemical plant. Also, it comes in handy when that businessman needs a certain person killed who’s hiding in Smallville. He uses everyone from Whitney and Lex to do the job, but didn’t count on Clark being immune to his irradiated charms. Also in awkward moments in Smallville: Chloe gets influenced to kiss Clark (which is certainly a shock to both parties involved)!

–In this installment of Lana (Doesn’t) Know Best: Um, Lana, maybe your opinion is skewed from your parents getting crushed by a meteor, but I would still hold a grudge against someone who strung me up in a field. Forgiven is not forgetting, Ms. Lang.

–Lex luckily forgets about “gunning down” Clark thanks to him being influenced by Rickman. Also, we find out like Clark does, he can take being shot multiple times.

“Hey, I got to get a round number for my gas purchase somehow. If you have a better way, I’d like to hear it.”

–Lex’s “on-call” doctor seems to confirm Ozzy Osbourne snorting fire ants. And he takes payments in brown bags.

–“Why is my mouth minty?”

–“Some people weren’t meant to have a regular life, Clark.”

–“Clark, you have some explaining to do.”

“Leech”

A freak lightning storm switches Clark’s powers with troubled teen Eric who uses Clark’s powers in the wrong way. Not that Clark can do crap about it, because he’s now as normal as everyone else in town. But, in order to stop Eric’s rampage, he may have to give up being normal. And Lex gets betrayed as expected by Victoria and her father, or at least, that’s what he wants them to think. Good episode in that it reminds us the powers don’t make Clark Kent, but the person who wields it does.

–Lana wants to get the local theater that her aunt just sold off. Geez, Lana, want to get to being a sophomore in high school before entering the world of small town business management?

–Your eyes don’t deceive you about Eric: that’s Shawn Ashmore, twin brother of Aaron, who will be a regular later on in the series as Jimmy Olsen.

–Looks like Lex pieced together what happened in the car accident, only to have the bad timing of Clark being depowered destroying that theory.

–And in other Lex related messed-up news, Lionel slept with Victoria after lex screwed over both her and her dad. Ewwww.

–“We lost.” “Yeah, isn’t it cool?”

Try explaining how a car ended up on the top of your house to Progressive.

NEXT TIME: Whitney gets in with the way wrong crowd in “Kinetic”, Lex is being stalked by someone who should be dead in “Zero”, meteor-tinged flowers get everyone acting strange in “Nicodemus”, and a psychic kid finds a safe haven at the Kent farm in “Stray”.