SMALLVILLE Minicaps / Season 2, Eps. 9-12

Smallville season two minicaps will not be appearing in ancient caves in the immediate future.

Stewart here, and be warned of spoilers within…

When last we left Smallville, we learned a bit more about that day baby Clark Kent ended up in Jonathan and Martha’s care, along with some more present developments, like Martha getting a job working with Lionel, and Lana and Chloe becoming roommates. No way could any of this lead to any trouble in this round of minicaps, and…sigh. Look, I can’t lie to you, because all these events will lead to trouble. What kind of trouble is what you should read on to find out more about…

“Dichotic”

Something weird’s going on when an overachieving kid is able to be in two places at once. When those two places happen to be where Lana and Chloe are involved, Clark finds this kid is a lot more than an ordinary high school apple polisher. Meanwhile, Lex goes into anger management classes and starts a relationship with a sexy doctor. And Jonathan’s kind of upset Martha isn’t around to help on the farm. Then Clark has to press the “friend” button on Lana and Chloe. Did I mention that “friend” button doesn’t really work long?

–I don’t think Ian’s plan to kill the shop teacher would’ve really worked, let alone his plan to drop both Lana and Chloe off a dam when they discover the truth. I actually don’t think anyone says what happens to Ian now that he’s one Ian short.

He really needs to get that looked at by a professional doctor.

–Let’s just pretend we didn’t see that ugh special effect of Chloe falling off the dam and move on.

–That final scene was interesting, watching Lana and Chloe react to Clark’s offer of friendship with a lot of emotions at once, like: “Don’t choose her. Choose me. You didn’t choose her. You didn’t choose me? You didn’t choose either of us? At least you didn’t choose her.”

–By the way, Clark, your plan to out Ian for tricking both Lana and Chloe didn’t involve being at the Torch when Ian was going to eventually show up? D’oh.

–“Contrary to my dad’s protestations, your bedroom floor is definitely a closet.”

“Skinwalker”

At a LuthorCorp development, Clark discovers a cavern with some interesting cave drawings and Kyla, a woman who he starts getting interested in. While Lionel wants to destroy the cavern for his development to go through, there’s another problem in a wolf-monster that is attacking people trying to push the project through. Interesting episode more for the reveal of an ancient legend that seems to point to someone like Clark being it come to life. Also, hope you like those caves, because you’ll be seeing them for awhile.

“Lex, your breath’s a bit harsher than usual.”

— I’m sure there was some intentional stuff in casting an actress for Kyla that kind of looks like Lana. Also, convenient solving of that Clark/Lyla hook-up by revealing Kyla is the wolf-monster and then her killing her off.

–Let’s talk about the “Numan” legend: besides matching up with Clark’s story, there’s also the part involving a close friend becoming his enemy and a woman who would be his great love. Hmmm…

–Also, Lana becomes proactive with Mr. Small, her maybe real father, in stopping the development from going through. Depending on how you see that, that’s a good or bad thing. Plus, she’s been writing to Whitney but he hasn’t written back. I’m sure he’s busy (wink, wink).

–Lex’s response to Lionel’s question about doing something to offend him: “There are so many ways to answer that question, Dad.”

–Oh look, it’s another thing the octagonal piece can fit into. Only its in an ancient cave. Nothing weird about that, except everything.

–“Maybe we should stop falling for guys who want to save the world.”

“Visage”

Hey, Whitney’s back from serving overseas, and he seems okay…besides having some superhuman strength and being really angry at Clark. It looks like he’s suffering from PTSD, but his behavior gets really weird when trying to remember certain things, and things go from awkward to psycho when news comes that Whitney may not be who he says he is. It’s a nice mystery episode that is kind of ruined once you see the guest star list, but its also memorable for having the spaceship being pivotal in saving Clark’s life. Also, Lex investigates his new girlfriend when she is spotted accepting donations from Lionel. In retrospect, that didn’t seem like a bad idea.

–In another callback of characters from season one, we get Tina from “X-Ray” returning as our fake Whitney. Speaking about Tina, she’s gone from just wanting to be Lana’s friend to, um, wanting to be with Lana. Kind of sad she gets impaled like she does because she was turning out to be a good villain for the show. Full disclosure though, this may also have some connection to my Lizzy Caplan crush.

–And Whitney seems to KIA after that cold open with his unit being blown to pieces. Pretty harsh end for that character, to be honest.

–Not to spoil things for the first run through of the show to you, but that whole paranoia about Helen isn’t completely unjustified.

Lex Luthor: waging a one-man war against compact cars.

–That “radio station with the loud rock music” sounds perfectly parental to me.

–“It took me five dates to figure it out. You’re delusional.”

“Insurgence”

Lionel’s secret surveillance pushes Lex to do the same dirty tricks with him, but that goes horribly wrong, with Lionel and Martha in a hostage situation in LuthorCorp Tower. There, we learn Lionel’s interest in Martha may have more to do with her son than just her resume. Clark wants to rescue Martha by getting into the tower, but it’s not that he can fly or anything. Oh the other hand, he can jump pretty far.

–Boy, Lex has shown an infinite amount of patience with Jonathan’s rudeness. I’m surprised he was still trying to be patient when he told Jonathan that he’s sick of his crap.

–First real look at the Daily Planet building, where we’ll be spending our time in the later seasons.

“AAAA! I need to clean my underwear after I make it to the other sideeeeee!”

–And Lana meets her sort of step-mom, and that goes over as awkwardly as you would expect.

–So, I wonder why Lionel had those meteor rocks turned into the equivalent of gold bricks? That’s just weird. And more importantly, whoever did that probably isn’t doing well physically if our knowledge of people exposed to it is any indication.

–Good news though with Martha finding that octagon piece (and how did that thing end up in Lionel’s clutches anyway? Did I miss a piece of something showing this when I watched the season so far?) and having the LuthorCorp file on Clark burned. And even though Jonathan’s plans to have an anniversary picnic are messed up by this whole hostage situation, he still suggests she keep her job to keep an eye on Lionel. But she hides the piece without telling anyone, for, well more on that another time…

–“Do I detect a faint bit of innuendo?”

NEXT TIME: Lionel gets shot by someone with a grudge (which is pretty much everyone in Smallville) in “Suspect”, Pete and Chloe go a ride on the wild side in “Rush”, Lex finds his actual half-brother in “Prodigal”, Martha falls ill as a secret she’s been carrying is revealed in “Fever”