Stargate SG-1 Minicaps / Season 5, Eps. 9-12

1 Aug
The Stargate SG-1 Season Two Minicaps only used that extra Gate once, and it was for business purposes only.

The Stargate SG-1 Season Five Minicaps really got screwed investing in the Tollan stock market. Kind of happens when a civilization’s economy is eradicated.

Stewart here…

If there’s a theme to this round of Minicaps, its revisiting old allies and haunts. We certainly did that last time with Cassandra’s puberty problems and Daniel’s Unas buddy, Chaka, leading a revolution to free his enslaved brethren. But we get to see some familiar faces (in one case, for the last time) this time, so let’s jump into it…

“Between Two Fires”

SGC allies, the Tollans, seem to be having a change of heart as to supplying their advanced weapons to Earth. But Narim, one of the first Tollans to befriend SG-1, warns them of something far more insidious going on. The investigation leads to the discovery of a Goa’uld infiltration of the Tollan homeworld, and the threat of destruction if they don’t supply the Goa’uld with weapons. SG-1 tries to stop this takeover, which ends in horrifying consequences.


“You spy Gaius Baltar around here?”

–So the Tollans seem to be wiped out (Narim also likely) by the Goa’uld siege that ends this episode, and considering we don’t see or hear of them again in this show, odds are they’re toast.

–Tanith (yeah, he apparently got clear of last season’s explosive season finale) is back, and he appears to have a new master. Who’s his new master? Just wait and see…

–So Carter loses another kinda platonic boyfriend with Narim seeming to be dead, trying to get as many of his people off-world. Once again, that final cut-off transmission and that we won’t see the Tollan again doesn’t leave much hope.

–So seeing the outdoor location of the Tollan homeworld kept giving me flashbacks to the new Battlestar Galactica.

–“Thank you sir. These little chats of ours always bring me great joy. And serve to ease my mind.”


Earth is about to negotiate an alliance with the technologically advanced Aschen, and…hey wait, why does that name sound familiar? Because they were the aliens SG-1 warned Earth away from aligning with in an alternate future last season. The future warning puts SG-1 on the case to figure out what the Aschen are really up to. Well, we know what that is, but will the team be able to stop it again…for the first time?


You know the Aschen made a gate that could go horizontal just for high-dive jumps.

–Ambassador Faxon returns, for the first time to Carter here, even though we know that in the alternate future in “2010”, he will become her husband. But instead, he joins Carter’s list of doomed boyfriends and sacrifices his freedom to get her to safety.

–It is a nice turn that the SGC runs into the Aschen anyway, even though the warning is taken seriously enough that they never head to the actual world listed on O’Neil’s warning, but doesn’t account for the Aschen being on other worlds.

–One of the gate addresses given to the Aschen? The gate stuck in that black hole from a few seasons ago. You don’t suppose that will be relevant later on, will it?

–Once again, leave it to asshat Senator Kinsey to squirrel any chance to prove the Aschen homeworld is the planet alternate future O’Neill warned about. And surprise, he thinks O’Neill’s a big know-it-all. As I said, asshat.

–“Ambassador, you gotta be careful about the use of the word “how” unless you really wanna know.”

“Desperate Measures”

When Carter is kidnapped by an unknown group, O’Neill is forced to call in for help outside the SGC to find her. That help, being the on-the-run former colonel Maybourne, leads to to the discovery of who’s behind the kidnapping: billionaire recluse Adrian Conrad is looking to cure his terminal illness. His solution is knowing how Carter survived a Goa’uld symbiote inside of her, by having one out inside of him to cure his illness and removed safely. But that would require him to have a symbiote to test it on, and–oh crap, he does!


Don’t interrupt Q while he’s on his lunch break.

–So Simmons returns, and surprise here, he’s totally dirty! He takes the possessed Conrad into custody (after shooting O’Neill in the back, which good for him, he had a bulletproof vest on), and offers an exchange of information they both want. Bad news indeed.

–Maybourne’s vanished (and yes, we’re going to see him again soon enough), and hopefully by then, O’Neill won’t still believe it was Maybourne that shot him instead of the actual shooter, Simmons.

–Another surprise here: the Russians lied about having a Jaffa prisoner (the source of the symbiote Conrad has) from a previous expedition.

–Apparently O’Neill just has a lot of National Geographics just waiting to be given to a crazy homeless man.

–“So, you think Maybourne’s a fan of Godzilla movies?” “He strikes me more of a Mothra guy.”

“Wormhole X-treme!”

Martin Lloyd, the not quite paranoid but clearly an alien who knew of the Stargate program, is taking his knowledge and putting it to use. That use is to make a TV show based loosely on SG-1’s exploits! But as bad as the reaction the team is having to this fictitious show, they are more concerned about the spaceship making its way towards Earth that is from Martin’s species. After some dramatic episodes, this is a fun and hilarious meta episode to kick back to.


Yeah, this SG-1 wouldn’t last ten seasons.

–Seriously, its kind of hard to make notes about all the in-jokes of this episode, because there are so many, like the studio heads wanting a sexy female alien (see season 4) and Carter’s bad luck with boyfriends.

–So this marked the show’s 100th episode, and as to the future of Wormhole X-Treme, we’ll get to that and the future of Martin in the show’s, yeah you guessed it, 200th episode. Hope you’re around for season ten of these Minicaps!

–The aliens (like “Dr. Tanner”) from Martin’s world reappear and want to recover their ship, but can’t because, surprise, Martin drugged himself to forget where he hid the device to recover it. Well, they get to leave in the ship before the NID show up to capture them.

–Oh god, that final “behind-the-scenes” segment is insanely funny. The weird lineage of the actor who plays surrogate Daniel is enough to make your head spin.

–Lots of cameos from the production team of the show as the crew of Wormhole X-Treme, like for instance, frequent director Peter DeLuise, his brother Michael as the O’Neill surrogate in Wormhole X-Treme, just to name a few.

–A response regarding three shots from a psuedo-zat gun disintegrating someone: “I’m gonna stop you right there, because that is quite possibly the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard you say.”

–When Martin realizes he made a TV show about the SGC, O’Neill’s reply is: “Don’t worry. It’s on cable.”

–“So you think aliens eat apples?” “Why not? They speak English.”

–“Ok, who among you has won a Cable Ace Award? Hmm?”


NEXT TIME: O’Neill and a group of cadets must fend off a secret invasion in “Proving Ground”, Teal’c is trapped in a Stargate wormhole in “48 Hours”, Daniel is sent in to sabotage a Goa’uld warlord summit in “Summit”, and the team contends with the return of the most dangerous System Lord in “Last Stand”.

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