Slicing & Dicing Zombies Is Best When Spending Romantic Time With A Decapitated Head

18 Jun

So… my copy of Lollipop Chainsaw arrived. And I am happily ignoring a quiz in my family violence class in order to rev my chainsaw and hack up some living dead. I haven’t had this much fun playing a game in years- a fact that probably says a lot about why I am not a gamer. I think the only thing that makes me sad is that it isn’t a 2-player game, as I think it’d be cool to hack some zombies with the rest of “Juliet’s” family. Of course, I’m pretty happy with the smart-ass comments from the decapitated head of her boyfriend- so I’m good.

Though… I’m glad he’s just a head- if he had a stomach, I think “Nick” would be pretty nauseated since his head is chained to “Juliet’s” belt and she’s spinning around, kicking the shit out of the zombie horde. Be a little problematic if she had to stop every now and then so he could hurl.

Overall, I’m giving the game an 9 out of 10, but on my personal scale it gets a full 10. The difference being that I knew what I was getting into- this is a James Gunn project after all– so to me, it’s the perfect game. I get to kill things, be a smart ass, there’s a great soundtrack, and the dialogue & story amuse me. Not everyone will agree. Plus, there are those people who’d would vote negatively because the graphics “could be better”. I don’t have any issues with them, but it seems to me that at some moments they aren’t as super smooth as they could be. Could this be my eyeballs? Sure. Hence it not being a factor in my personal score. It’s only one of many in the overall/public score. The game was never meant for everyone, and honestly, if you pick it up and are disappointed- that’s on you for failing to fully realize what you were getting. For some reason, you picked up the game and it didn’t meet your expectations- so you’re expectations were fucked up. There it is.

I’ll probably shut up about this game now… this is the third or fourth post I’ve made referencing it. $:\$ But it was also the first game in years that caught my attention for longer than a commercial and intrigued me enough to look into making sure I had the right system to play. So that says something about the game world.

I’ve seen talk since its release that Lollipop Chainsaw is sexist. Which James rebutted on his twitter, stating that it may have “the largest percentage of female players of any console game ever”. I’d believe it. Ok, yeah… the main character is a busty chick, in a skimpy outfit, who happens to be a cheerleader- but my god! she’s the one swinging the chainsaw and kicking ass! She’s the one rescuing everyone and killing the zombies. The game is designed by men- they weren’t going to make her flat chested and unappealing. But the fact that so many women are jumping up and down to play the game should tell you that we don’t care. We don’t see it as sexist- we’ve got zombies to kill! Also, let’s be realistic- there’s offensive sexist, which is what 99% of sexist shit is, and there’s comedic sexist. This is the latter. The difference being that the only actual women who will find offense at this game are those repressed hags that have nothing better to do then to argue against free speech, equal rights, and to wrap their idiot children in so much bubble wrap that they’ll make it adulthood despite Darwin’s Survival of the Fittest and thus bring their stupidity and narrow minded views into my life and effect my views because clearly I am wrong. Oh wait… did I offend you with that? Sorry- I really don’t want to offend people. But it aggravates me that people who aren’t even going to play something have to attack it. I’m going to my happy place- I see calmly burbling brooks, running through a peaceful forest… and oh yeah, in my happy place I’ve got a chainsaw and am butchering hordes of zombies. Is that wrong?

The point is- this game rocks. And that’s not just me! Our own Emily came by to hang out and spent some hours playing the game. You’ll see from upcoming posts that she (and Stewart) are much bigger gamers than I, so if one of them supports the game too, you know it’s fun. 🙂

Big thanks to James Gunn, Michael Rosenbaum, Tara Strong and all the rest for providing this bit of awesomeness!

(oh… and thanks to Emily for getting me through that damn zombie basketball game!)